Where You Are (In Memoriam: Robert Stuart 1924-2012)

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When my granddad died, I wanted to write something for him, but couldn’t. The words wouldn’t come. When we took the train to Newcastle to scatter his ashes in the Tyne, I wanted to say something, but couldn’t. This weekend I was looking through old photographs, and I remembered him telling me a story about when he was 15 and he began work at the rope factory. He lived in Byker and had to get a boat in the morning across the river. Benny the boatman would row him across. As a kid, the idea of having to get a boat to work was brilliant. Though my Nanna was from Gorton, Manchester, they lived together in Newcastle briefly. Conditions were atrocious, though. Infant mortality rates were high and they lost two girls. They had to leave Newcastle behind and came to Manchester.I remember he always had a picture of the Tyne, though. He must have thought about it a lot. He had the quiet dignity of a man removed from his home. When we returned with his ashes, we scattered them by the part of the river where Benny had rowed him across, years before.

My mum was very close to my granddad and this as much a poem for her as it is for him.

 

Where You Are (In Memoriam: Robert Stuart 1924-2012)

 

You are fifteen and it’s February,

the boatman rows you to the rope factory.

I know it’s cold, he says,

but when the sun spills through

the Tyne turns gold.

And it does.

 

You are twenty-one and it’s June,

you are walking by the river in a demob suit

and your fingers curl in the hand of a girl

you will marry when you’ve saved for a ring.

 

You are thirty, September,

you are watching your daughter’s

fingers unfurl, you remember the girls,

white coffins,

light as a bird.

 

A Manchester train, a job making planes,

a factory,

from a rented room to a rented house,

a borrowed suitcase and a family

And dreams of things like holidays,

in technicolour, a room with a view,

radiators.

 

 You are watching your daughter run in a field,

you look up to see a bird leave the trees

and the sun paints its underwing

as it moves behind factories

for the sea.

 

A retirement watch,

an empty chair,

a framed wedding photograph.

 

And we’re here

at the end of a rope of years,

the boatman has long gone;

and as we’re saying goodbye

the sunlight dies

though the river

for a moment turns gold.

 

IOB. 1.2.14

 

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About midasinreverse

I am a writer and teacher, living in Manchester, UK. I use this blog to share thoughts, poems, photos, etc. Life is incredibly short: we should share our experiences.
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5 Responses to Where You Are (In Memoriam: Robert Stuart 1924-2012)

  1. Soc says:

    Beautiful O.B.

  2. Miss Lou says:

    So beautifully written and so very sad, a tale of wonderful experiences and of loss.

    Lovely ending….

    Thank you for sharing these very personal memories with us 🙂

    Miss Lou
    xx

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